Dr Velascos' Unexpected Baby Read online

  His voice dropped its pitch just a fraction. Went smooth and silky, like a fine cognac. Was he actually flirting with her? His wife had been dead less than three days and he was already flirting?

  It caught her off guard, shocked her. Under different circumstances she might have been flattered by it. But under these circumstances she wasn’t sure what she felt, and in response she donned her best, most professional expression. “I’d still like to have someone else observe Ana Maria for a little while, since you’re emotionally involved.” But maybe not as much as he should have been. Unfortunately, all her initial good impressions of Dr. Gabriel Velascos were starting to melt away, and now she wasn’t sure what she was feeling. Pity, for sure. And a little anger mixed in. Maybe some confusion, too. “I’ll be back in a moment, Dr. Velascos, after I’ve consulted with Dr. Navarro.”

  With that, Bella escaped into the hall, all too glad to be away from the very puzzling Dr. Gabriel Velascos. All too breathless over him too, which made no sense whatsoever.

  Well, he’d called it right. Thank God Ana Maria’s problem was only an intolerance to the goat’s milk, as he’d expected. That was easily fixed. And the rest of it…one step at a time. One lousy step at a time. He’d get her milk intolerance straightened out, then think about what came after that. That’s all he could do—just take care of the baby the best way he knew how.

  “A baby. I have a baby.” Dear God, what was he going to do with a baby? Yesterday he’d been a man without attachments, today he had a baby. His sister’s baby. “A baby.”

  Saying the words out loud, or thinking them…either way, his breath caught in his throat for an instant, threatening to asphyxiate him with the complications of what those four simple words meant—I have a baby. “A baby…Lynda’s baby. My baby.” He whispered the words reluctantly, trying them on the way he tried on a pair of new shoes—cautiously at first, to see if they fit, then, only after they did, deciding if they were comfortable enough to keep. The only thing was, if a pair of shoes didn’t fit, he always had the option of asking for another size or simply walking away from the store empty-handed. But with this baby—Ana Maria—no matter how much she didn’t fit his lifestyle, and there was definitely no give in there for her whatsoever, he couldn’t just send her back and ask for another size, or walk away altogether. Lynda had been so excited to have a child…she’d cherished her pregnancy, lived for the moment she gave birth. So many times over the months she’d told him how being a mother was her destiny, so how could he walk away from that? How could he walk away from what had meant the world to her? And from his own flesh and blood?

  He couldn’t. That was his answer, and also his problem. Ana Maria’s father had walked away, but he couldn’t. “My baby,” he said one more time, hoping that by saying the words they would somehow bring about a magical change in his dilemma…like Lynda really being alive, or Hector having a change of heart and welcoming his new baby girl into his family after all.

  Neither of those things were going to happen, though. Practicality was one of the traits he counted on most when nothing else worked, and, being the practical man he considered himself to be, he couldn’t see anything else working here. No miracles. No flights of fancy or fantasy. He had a baby now. And nothing changed the fact that those simple words were causing his stomach to churn, his head to pound, his whole world to spin, and his destiny to be cast into directions he’d never looked forward to for himself. Not like this, anyway.

  His baby, maybe. But what the hell was he going to do about it?

  “We’ll get it figured out,” he whispered to Ana Maria. He didn’t look at her, though. Not too closely. For now it was best to keep her at a distance. Protect her, care for her, but keep the emotional attachment under check until he could figure out what to do. “Whatever happens, Ana Maria, I promise that no matter what I do, it will be in your best interests. You deserve better than what you’ve had so far, and I’ll make sure you get it.” It was a promise he took to heart, and one he didn’t know how to fulfill.

  Finally chancing a quick glimpse of the baby in his arms, Gabriel caught her looking up at him, her big eyes full of…was that trust? No, babies that age didn’t trust. They couldn’t even focus. For the most part they merely existed, and responded to their environment. The way Ana Maria was looking at him right now was only a response, probably to his voice. She wasn’t used to hearing a man’s voice, that’s all. But when he risked another quick look to confirm his diagnosis…damn it, he was positive he saw trust again. “Don’t do that,” he warned. “Not with me, because it won’t work, Ana Maria. You can look at me that way all you want, but it’s not going to work.”

  Her eyes were so beautiful, though. As beautiful as Arabella’s eyes which, he thought, had been the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen. Except in Arabella’s he saw sadness. She held it back, but it was there, and he did wonder what made such beautiful eyes so sad.

  Pulling Ana Maria a little closer to him, he assumed a natural rocking action, waiting for Arabella to return, and within seconds Ana Maria was fast asleep in his arms. If only life really was that simple.

  “They really don’t have the facilities here in the clinic to keep her, but Dr. Navarro said he’d have his office nurse watch her for a couple of hours to make sure she’s getting along better.” It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it would do. And the baby would be under observation for a short time, which made Bella feel a lot better. Gabriel was also a doctor with so much emotional turmoil, and Bella knew, better than most, how that could play on good judgment. She was glad Nurse Melaina Juarez had agreed to keep watch for a while.

  “Look, I’m grateful for everything you’ve done, Arabella. I think that while they’re looking after Ana Maria here, I’ll go and make arrangements for the formula to be sent.”

  “So before you leave, maybe later today, would you like me to have another look at her?”

  He shook his head. “You’ve done more than most people would have, and I’m sure you have things you’d rather be doing than looking after a stranger.”

  Things she dreaded doing. Things she wanted to put off doing. “Yes, I do, actually. But to be blunt, Doctor, I don’t think you’re reacting normally to Ana Maria right now. You’re…too stiff. You know, doing what’s required but not with the emotional nurturing she needs from you. She’s a beautiful little girl yet you hold her like she’s made of plastic…a plastic doll. And you seem to respond to her, but in a very stilted way. Which worries me. You said you’d take care of her and maybe you mean that, but I get the feeling that taking care of a newborn is the last thing you want to do. In which case I think it might become very easy for you to overlook something in her condition. And I’m not implying that you’d mean to do it, because I don’t think you would intentionally. But with what you’ve just been through, things aren’t normal for you now, and you’re not responding as you normally would.”

  OK, so maybe she was overstepping the line here, but she was concerned because she knew how it felt to go through the motions without really thinking about them, which was what Gabriel seemed to be doing. You did what you needed to do but without any emotional investment. It was like walking through a fog—your senses were distorted, you couldn’t be sure in which direction you were headed. If you were alone it didn’t matter so much, but Gabriel wasn’t alone. And she did recognize that fog around him, which was why she felt compelled to react.

  “You’re very quick with accusations, aren’t you? Especially when none of this concerns you!”

  “Then tell me I’m wrong. That’s all it will take, Dr. Velascos, and I’ll be satisfied that you don’t need my concern. Or my help.”

  His eyes softened for a moment. “You’re a good doctor, aren’t you?”

  “I try to be.” She wasn’t sure what to make of him again. The man was vacillating between someone who fascinated her and someone who, likewise, scared her. She didn’t know what it was about him…his circumstances, his natural way? But s
he felt drawn to him. Or maybe it was to Ana Maria.

  Yes, that was it. Ana Maria was desperately in need of the emotional bond only a parent could have for a child…a bond Bella wasn’t seeing in Dr. Velascos. She was reacting to that. That’s all it could be. “Which is why I’m worried. It comes with the territory. I worry about all my patients.” And she worried about Ana Maria, who wasn’t even her patient.

  “I suppose we all do, don’t we?”

  His comment was more offhand than direct, as if his thoughts were somewhere else. Perhaps they were. “I know this is all confusing for you, Gabriel. But it will get better, I promise. It’s just going to take some time to make the adjustments and for now Ana Maria will be fine. Babies, even as young as she is, are very resilient.” Odd, her need to comfort him. But he seemed like he needed encouragement from somewhere. In brief moments, he looked so…lost.

  Good heavens, what was she doing, getting involved like this? Gabriel and Ana Maria were in good hands with Dr. Navarro and his nurse, and that problem was solved. But hers was not, which was why it was time to pull back the emotions. Time to quit looking for ways to put off the inevitable, and getting involved with Gabriel the way she was trying to do was just another way to avoid what she had to do. She recognized that. Accepted it. “Look, if you need something, Dr. Navarro will be able to help you. He seems like a very capable doctor and I’m sure he’ll put you in touch with a good pediatrician.” She pulled the blanket back from Ana Maria’s face, brushed a thumb over her soft, chubby cheek, then stepped back, feeling a sudden sadness she didn’t understand. “Take care of yourself, Gabriel. You and Ana Maria will have a wonderful life together.”

  CHAPTER TWO

  SHE’D eaten a little dinner, not so much because she’d wanted it but because she’d needed it. Something about holding little Ana Maria in her arms that afternoon had filled her with a longing that scared her. That, added to the dread of what she was here to do, made her meal a necessity, but not an enjoyable one. And now, hours later, she was tired of tossing and turning, and she simply couldn’t sleep. There were too many unwanted thoughts galloping through her mind, keeping her awake.

  This was so hard, knowing that she was about to face the worst thing she’d ever faced in her life. Until now, she’d been able to blot out her sister’s death, pretend this trip to Peru was merely a holiday where she could take a stroll through the countryside, mingle with the people, eat the cuisine, see the sights. But it wasn’t that at all, and the nearness of what she needed to face in order to heal herself was pounding at her.

  She wanted to do this, but could she? Could she open Rosie’s clinic and make her sister’s dream a reality? Being someone who always took the sure, steady path, the way she did, this seemed almost crazy. Rosie had been the one who had taken the risks, who had looked at life as an exciting mountain to climb. Bella, though, had been the one who had stuck to the flat paths, who hadn’t veered off.

  But she was veering in a big way now, wasn’t she? It was terrifying but it seemed right, fulfilling Rosie’s promise this way. If that’s what she decided to do.

  Bella was worried about Ana Maria, too. And about Gabriel, who probably didn’t need someone like her worrying about him. Yet she worried anyway, wondering why she’d latched on to the two of them almost immediately. Possibly her need for something that made some sense in her life? Something that made sense in the middle of something so confusing? Treating a sick child made so much sense to her. But Bella didn’t dismiss the possibility that fixing on Gabriel and his daughter was a distraction because she knew herself, knew how she’d wanted to avoid the obvious. Once she stepped into her sister’s dream, took it on as her own, her sister would be gone forever and she couldn’t face that, wasn’t ready to face that.

  Whatever the case, there were too many reminders around her of how fragile life could be. She understood that now, more than she had any other time in her life. She was pretty sure Gabriel did, too, and he coped by being distant. She coped by…well, that was the problem. She wasn’t sure how she coped because she hadn’t allowed herself that yet.

  Oh, she was strong enough. It had become a requirement with the way she and Rosie had grown up orphans from an early age, being tossed into so many situations where they had been tolerated but not loved the way children deserved. She’d been strong in medical school, too, and in her medical practice. It was easy, being strong, but lately she’d wondered if that strength had been a sham. Because deep down, when it had counted, she hadn’t found any of that strength she’d thought would be there. “You’re a fake, Arabella Burke,” she said, looking at herself in the mirror as she paced by it for the twentieth time in the past few minutes. “A great big fake who didn’t even know she was faking. Which makes you pretty pathetic, doesn’t it?”

  She didn’t stay at the mirror long enough for the image in it to reply. The truth was, she didn’t need conciliatory words, or more of the lie she’d been telling herself all this time. Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the strongest of them all? Why, it’s Bella! Bella, the queen of self-deception.

  Rather than taking on a heated debate with herself, Bella pulled on her pink chenille, floor-length bath robe, stepped into her pink bedroom slippers, and headed to the hall, determined to pace up and down until she was exhausted. A nice brisk walk, in a place without the mirror image waiting to taunt her, was good, she decided as she set off, her footsteps silent on the thick, padded carpet.

  Five minutes of power-walking from one end of the hall to another didn’t have the desired effect, though, because Bella felt none the worse for her near-marathon pace. But as she was about to set out on her second round by tackling the stairs, the elevator doors at the other end of the hall whooshed open and a young man in neatly pressed gray slacks and a maroon jacket scuttled out, heading straight to the first room on the left. She watched with mild interest, not because it was interesting as much as any diversion was good. It did seem awfully late to have room service delivered, though. Probably some other poor soul who couldn’t sleep, asking for a glass of warm milk.

  Warm milk! Why hadn’t she thought of that? Perhaps its soothing effect would help her. Besides, it seemed much more appealing than running up and down the hotel stairs in her pink nightwear, trying to wear herself out. “Excuse me,” she said to the room attendant, trying not to be too loud about it.

  He acknowledged her with a nod as the hotel door at which he stood cracked open and he handed in a covered tray. That’s when she heard it…the sound of a crying baby in the room. Naturally, her attention fixed on that as the attendant backed away from the door and the man inside thanked him.

  Gabriel Velascos! She recognized his voice but she wasn’t fast enough to get to the door before he shut it. A couple of loud raps remedied that, and a second later he opened the door to her, immediately blinking his obvious surprise. “Do you have built-in radar?” he asked, his voice more weary than stiff. His eyebrows did raise as he took in her pink nightwear.

  “Maybe I do.” He was dressed in jeans, and an unbuttoned white cotton shirt that proved a startlingly sexy contrast to his dark skin. Bare feet, mussed hair, the total image of him caused Bella to step back when he opened the door all the way. She shouldn’t be harboring these kinds of thoughts for him. He had been widowed only three days, for heaven’s sake! A man in mourning. He probably hadn’t even had time to bury his wife yet.

  Hormonal reaction, she decided. Biological clock ticking hard and fast. A particularly pointless ticking for a woman who was on a road with an uncertain ending to it. Or maybe she was finally tired. “I heard Ana Maria…”

  “She’s been crying for the past hour, and I can’t get her to sleep. I had room service bring me sugar water because I thought she might be hungry, and if that doesn’t work…” He shrugged.

  Bella went straight to the crib where Ana Maria was having a royal fit, and picked her up. “Is it your tummy again?” she practically cooed, running her fingers lightly over Ana Mari
a’s belly to check for any distention. None found. Then she felt her cheeks and forehead for a fever and, again, none discovered. “So far, so good,” she said softly, raising the baby to her shoulder, then giving her a light pat on the back. Ana Maria rewarded the effort with a healthy little burp.

  “That’s it?” Gabriel sputtered. “That’s all it was?”

  “Just a gas bubble. Babies need a little help getting them out, you know.”

  “I know that,” he snapped, then immediately shook his head impatiently. “Sorry. I’ve been going crazy worrying about her, and all she needed was a burp. That makes me look pretty stupid, doesn’t it?”

  Bella laughed. “Not stupid, just inexperienced. And don’t take it personally. I think you’re a little overwhelmed right now.” She really wanted to ask more about his situation, about his wife’s death, but it wasn’t her place. And she knew from experience that so many questions hurt. People had asked about Rosie, trying to be kind, of course, but the pain had been unbearable. Still was.

  “A little overwhelmed is right. And I’m sorry I’m always snapping at you. It’s just that every time you’ve caught me so far I’ve been at my worst.”

  Something with which she commiserated as she hadn’t exactly been at her best lately either. “Believe me, I gave up making assumptions and judgments a long time ago. You’re having a bad time right now and I understand completely.” She glanced sideways at Ana Maria, who’d gone right to sleep with her head on Bella’s shoulder. “I think she’s OK,” she whispered.

  Gabriel stepped forward to take Ana Maria, but Bella shook her head. “I know you told me you didn’t need my help, but I think you do. So why don’t you go sleep for a few hours, get yourself rested to face all the things you’re going to have to take care of tomorrow, and I’ll take care of Ana Maria, since I’m wrestling with a bout of insomnia anyway? This will keep me from walking the hall all night.”